In Conversation With Jessie Mei Li Star of 'Shadow and Bone'
Jessie was virtually photographed in England by Alison Engstrom
Before we start chatting about ‘Shadow and Bone’ I’d love to learn if there was a moment where you knew you were called to be a performer?
As a very hyperactive kid, I always loved telling stories and putting on silly puppet shows, but I never really thought of myself as a performer (despite what my mum might say!). But I had an insatiable interest in people; why they do the things they do, their relationships (good and bad) and how they communicate. I think this love of people is what eventually sparked my interest in acting as an adult.
You attended university but decided to leave and become a special needs teacher, which is amazing! What made you decide to go back to acting?
I absolutely adored my time as a TA, but I was at a crossroads in my life having just quit uni and feeling a bit lost, and I think sometimes the best thing to do in those situations is to just think about what makes you happy. Going to acting classes whilst working at the school was a way for me to have fun and to build up my confidence after a few rocky years, and it really helped a lot. It was just a hobby, but after a while I caught the bug and decided to throw caution to the wind and see what would happen if I started to take it more seriously.
One of your first professional experiences was on stage in ‘All About Eve’. Did you envision yourself being a theater actor or did you have dreams to also be on a screen?
I tend to go with the flow in my life generally, I love trying a bit of everything. I’d only really had two small screen jobs at that time, and I actually found the prospect of theatre acting a bit daunting at first. I went along to the audition to All About Eve genuinely thinking “there’s no way they’ll cast me in this, I have barely any experience on stage, so I won’t take this too seriously and just enjoy it”. And that, as fate would have it, seemed to work out in my favour. I loved working in a play—the adrenaline rush; the knowledge that you could mess up any second and throw everyone off; the dashing up and down from dressing rooms; the backstage whispers and stifled giggles—it’s just very exciting and chaotic. I’d love to do more theatre one day.
The show has been such a success congratulations! What was your initial reaction when you read your part of Alina Starkov? And were you at all familiar with the Grishaverse book series written by Leigh Bardugo before signing on?
I remember reading the character description for Alina in the casting brief and immediately being intrigued. She was described as someone who’s had a tough life, who’s learnt to keep her head down and has keen “observational skills of someone with a refined sense of fight-or-flight”. So clearly she is a fighter and a survivor, but also described as being an “avid reader”. I could see her standing there, quiet and lost, with this huge complex world behind her eyes and I felt like I wanted to look after her and make sure she got where she needed to be.
I had heard of Leigh’s books and I knew they were very popular, but I’ll admit that my research for the role before the first audition mainly consisted of looking at fan art! I also just wanted to focus on what was written in the audition script, in case it was very different from the books! But I basically binged it—read the trilogy after my first round of auditions—I don’t think I ever read anything so fast!
For those who haven’t tuned in yet, can you give them an idea of what the series is about?
Shadow and Bone is set in a world in some ways inspired by our own, where you’ll find all the hallmarks of a fantasy story—a chosen one, a war-torn country, monsters, betrayals, magic, heists, light conquering dark. It follows the story of Alina who discovers she has a mythical power that could potentially save her country. As she grapples with this new responsibility and conflicted feelings about saving the people who have always pushed her away, we also follow a gang of criminal’s hell bent on kidnapping her against all odds. It’s a lot of fun.
Is there a bigger message that you would personally like viewers to take away?
The central theme of the show is belonging, and what it means to belong. In the final episode Alina has an epiphany, despite having been shunned her whole life and believing that she’s not important, she has always had this power within her, and that new understanding is what allows her to save her loved ones. I think we all could do with believing in ourselves a bit more. Life can be really hard, and there are all these external factors that we use to measure our own importance and success. But I think everyone has value, innate strengths and talents and ideas, just by being who you are. And that’s very cool.
You have mega fans because of the show! How has it felt to step into a world where people want to know more about you?
Downright bizarre! People talk about actors and people in the public eye like they’re somehow different from themselves, like every little thing they do is interesting and exciting, even if it’s something fairly commonplace or mundane. I’m just a fairly average human being, and while it’s lovely receiving kind messages from the fans of the show, I also don’t feel deserving of such hyperbolic praise! It’s also weird knowing that people can create such wild ideas about who you are, good and bad, and that you now exist in their minds as this person they’ve imagined. But it also means that I don’t take anything said to seriously; people are really just talking about their version of you, not the person you actually are. There’s something freeing in that.
You spoke in a previous interview about how you relate to your character since growing up you were made fun of for your background, I am really sorry to hear that but look at you now, so very inspiring! It’s really moving because other girls will be able to see you on the screen and see themselves represented. Can you talk a bit more about that?
Growing up is hard for everyone. People are trying to work out who they are and how the world works, and that includes the people who say stupid things. I was subjected to a lot of stupid things like ignorant and often outright racist remarks - the classic “don’t eat my dog” jokes were rife in my teenage years. I really didn’t know who I was then, I felt constantly like the world and people around me were telling me who I was, and what was expected of me; those voices are so hard to ignore. I felt I had to placate them and conform, to be predictable and not step out of my lane and I was so unhappy, stifling the person I really was.
I hope that young people today, whatever their background or identity, can now see more and more people like them finding joy and success, doing what they love doing, being themselves despite the obstacles, and know that they too are worthy. Don’t wait for anyone to tell you you are worthy, you already are.
Over the past year or so we have all had to sit with ourselves, maybe more than we would have ever liked or imagined. Have you been surprised to learn anything new about yourself or the world during this unprecedented time period?
I feel like I’ve grown more as a person this past year than I have the preceding five! I think we all move so fast, set so many targets and milestones that sometimes we forget to just appreciate things. I have always lived like at a million miles an hour, hopping from one misadventure to the next. Being forced to slow down, look around and check in with myself was exactly what I’ve been needing for a long time. I’ve gotten to know myself much better, and I quite like the person I’ve become, which surprised me. I’m a flawed human being who makes mistakes because we all do. And that gives us the opportunity to learn from them. So, I’ve learnt to stop giving myself such a hard time over silly mistakes, forgiving ourselves is just as important as forgiving others.
I am all about manifesting and sending energy out there to achieve your dreams. Is there something that you would like to put out into the universe for the future?
For my future? I’m far too scatty to even think ahead past my next meal. I’d rather just be surprised.