Kayli Carter Takes A Walk In Brooklyn’s Cobble Hill Park
New York is the backbone of so much that we do each day at ROSE & IVY. We love how the city spawns ideas, inspiration and connections. Especially now, more than ever, the city needs our hope and love. In this series, I explore a neighborhood or iconic street that gives the city its heart and soul with a women in television or film.
Kayli Carter loves New York, so I couldn’t be more excited to take a walk with her in Cobble Hill, an enclave in Brooklyn, known for its charming brownstones and quaint tree-lined park. Over the years, Kayli has created an impressive body of work with memorable roles in Mrs. America, Private Life and Bad Education to her newest film Let Him Go—which is in theaters Friday—where she plays alongside Diane Lane and Kevin Costner. I chatted with Kayli about why she is so drawn to New York, how a health set back allowed her to let go, how she isn’t waiting for permission to achieve her dreams and her inspiring motto that doesn’t allow anything to stop her. Kayli is the real deal and I couldn’t have been more excited to explore one of my favorite neighborhoods with her.
Kayli was photographed and interviewed by Alison Engstrom; styled by Emily Sanchez. Makeup by Jessi Butterfield; hair by Rheanne White.
Kayli is wearing a blouse by Derek Lam 10 Crosby; denim by Cinq à Sept; heels by Stuart Weitzman; earrings by White/Space; rings by Ettika; left hand ring finger ring by White/Space.
Kayli, thank you so much for taking A Walk In New York! It’s one of my favorite places, Have you ever been to the Cobble Hill neighborhood before?
Oh, yes, absolutely. I think one of my first jobs in New York was a babysitting gig in the area—I had a family who straddled the Cobble Hill/Carroll Gardens neighborhood. I am by nature a walker—I will walk endlessly around a certain area because I love houses and various real estate apps (laughs). I keep a button on all of the neighborhoods. Architecture is a big part of what drew me to New York in the first place. Those row houses in Cobble Hill are some of my favorites.
ME too, i walk around here everyday. New York is going through a challenging period, despite it all, New York is a special place and I know you stayed here during the height of the pandemic, too. I’d love to hear, what do you love most about living and working in New York?
I wanted to live here since I was a child and now that I live here, I love it even more. One positive thing, in this very difficult time for New York, I have gotten to experience it sans tourists; it’s been wild and amazing to experience the city with just New Yorkers and the die-hard New Yorkers who didn’t flee. The energy might not be like a house DJ as it usually is, but it’s this really laid back, keep calm and take care of one another vibe. I was always lied to in the South, where I grew up, where I was told that New Yorkers are extremely rude. I have not found that to be the case. I have found the city to be really welcoming, open and to have a real heart for each other and a need to protect each other. I have really experienced the goodness of New Yorkers.
I think there is speculation, when you are an actor, that you’ll eventually give up and go to Los Angeles, but I love this place, and I cannot imagine not having this as my home base. I have shot a little bit in LA, but it just didn’t feel the same for me, because like I said, I am a walker and you can’t exactly walk anywhere there. It’s great to visit, but I always get homesick after a while; I miss New York.
I’m a walker too, do you feel like you too have been walking a lot more during this time period?
My daily walk has become the only time where I can be by myself, which is really important to me. I am an extrovert, but I need a lot of recharge time by myself. I am so nomadic, in this profession, that I am living out of hotel rooms by myself for a large part of the year, and honestly that jives so well with me. I love my partner, and I miss him when I am not with him but I am very independent and I feel totally full on my own. It was hard to suddenly have us all at home and not have that. We are pretty close to Prospect Park and my walk was the only time of day to get myself out of the house, so that I could be a much kinder and nicer person (laughs).
I know exactly what you mean, I typically travel a lot by myself, it’s where I get my creative ideas.
When I was a kid, my grandparents used to take us in an RV. during the summer, to national parks. It was an incredible experience and rewarding in many ways but being in a space with them and my siblings made me very much the person who would lock herself in the bathroom for a while (laughs). They would ask, what are you doing? And I’d say, I am just trying to be alone!
You have had so many incredible roles from ‘Mrs. America’, ‘Private Life’ to ‘Bad Education’ to name just a few. But to rewind for a minute, how did you get your start?
I didn’t initially know that I wanted to do this. I didn’t see it modeled to me where I grew up; it didn’t seem like something that was entirely attainable. I knew I wanted to go to college and to leave my hometown, which always felt like a container that was a tad bit too small. I started in Savannah, Georgia going to SCAD, which was only five hours away from home; it was another city that is very walkable, which seems to be the thread here (laughs). It’s a beautiful city, that’s what sold me on it. It’s a very magical town, it made me feel extremely creative. When I walked around I would get so much inspiration from everything that was around me.
The school itself wasn’t like other conservatory models, they were almost a business school in certain ways. There is a casting office associated with the college, which was very informative to me since I was really interested in the business-side because most of my job is auditioning. At this point especially, the opportunities that I have had these past couple of years have been incredible but this is a business where you don't see a return on your investment for quite some time. That investment is constantly meeting new people and auditioning. I know so many people who hate auditioning, it’s hard for them, but I love it. I had to fall in love with it because I have to do it so often and I don't want to hate that part of my job. I mean I don’t love it on Zoom as much, which is so weird (laughs). I just tested for a pilot on Zoom too, it was this weird experience of feeling so disconnected with the other people that I would normally be in the room with. I started in theater so collaboration is really what I thrive in. I don’t really want to be acting by myself or with the lens of the camera—I want to be acting with a person!
SCAD did a showcase, like so many other schools; we went to New York, LA and Atlanta and I knew it was New York in my heart. In every other city we went to I felt like I didn’t perform to the best of my ability, I just knew I was going to head to New York. The week after I graduated, I packed up all of my stuff and headed up here and I have been here ever since. I got an agent out of that showcase, I was lucky enough to find representation right away, so I tried to hit the ground running.
Did you initially have your eyes on the theater world?
I thought I was going to do that primarily. I didn't actually get to do a lot of student film in college. I was on stage so much so I didn’t have time to do anyone’s student films. I had no experience on set. Through TV and film, I realized that my aspirations were much bigger than I initially thought they would be.
It think that’s great to change and expand your horizons and change your mind.
Oh yeah, I only thought I wanted to be an actor. There maybe used to be a time where you could just be an actor, but I am not sure that’s the world we even live in anymore. It feels like you have to be creative beyond that. I know now that I want to direct and I want to write; I am writing currently. It’s harnessing all of those things in high school that felt too loud or too ambitious and remeeting those and saying, oh I never was a leader. It was maybe beaten out of me a tiny bit but I knew that I could lead and that I had a point of view. I am in the industry at a time when so many are recognizing that a point of view is strong and they are not waiting for permission from anybody. This has been really telling for me because I am tired of waiting for permission.
How did you get you land your first role?
After that showcase, a casting director asked if she could record me on her phone fake hitch hiking; I didn't say anything I just did what she asked me to do. A week later, I got an email saying that I was approved by the studio to be in this horror film and they just needed someone who could look like a young Sissy Spacek in the third installment of The Ring franchise. I drove every single weekend back and forth, during my last quarter of college, from Savannah to Atlanta. I was thrown onto this massive set, I was scared shitless (laughs). That type of film wasn’t what I wanted to do, it wasn’t my bag—I realized it quickly—but it was just enough money to get me to New York, find a place to stay and be comfortable, while I found a survival job.
We were chatting at the shoot about people who have invisible disabilities or issues that are not apparent to the eye. I read the article you penned in ‘Glamour’ about getting a pace-maker at 18. I could really related to what you said living with MS, “I thought that if anyone found out about my chronic illness, that it would become my identity, the first thing people would see...Why couldn’t my body be invincible? Why did it feel like the enemy?” What got your through that difficult time would you say?
It was very tough because it was also the burgeoning of so many opportunities. I was a freshman in college and there were no limits. There was a film that was casting and was going to be shooting in Savannah and I was trying to leave the hospital, while having multiple seizures, to go back and make the audition. The doctor wrote, ‘N-O’ on a piece of paper but my brain and my body were very much at war with each other. I thought I could press through and be fine, but not realizing that was going to stall out my ability to live longer. I knew there would be other opportunities, and I knew that I had to slow down and listen to my body and that was difficult thing to get through at 18.
I felt useless and totally out of control; everyone was having to do things for me, which is not something that jives with me. It was really tough. The entire year afterwards, I didn't love my body as much because there had been such a stagnant period of not being able to move the way I wanted to; I felt terrible all of the time and I felt betrayed by my body. Now I am the healthiest I have ever been, which is incredible, and not a lot of people’s experience. I was angry for a long time because I couldn’t get doctors to listen to me and give me a diagnosis. I’ve worked on letting a lot of that anger go and just being glad that we figured it out. When they said that the coronavirus is vascular, I realized that I am very much at risk and I have to be vigilant. I have my health and I will protect that at all costs. I want to protect other people, too.
You had ‘Mrs America’ come out earlier this year and now in November ‘Let Him Go’, where you play Lorna Blackledge, opposite Diane Lane and Kevin Costner. Can you talk more about this thriller and how your character comes into the plot?
I have been with this for a long time in spirit, even before I was officially attached to it. I met the director on the Upper West Side and we had breakfast. We totally hit it off; I had read the script and I found it really interesting. He was pitching this very dynamic love story and this slow burn thriller about generational trauma, which is how I perceived it. I was taken with the characters and knew that Diane had signed on. I play Lorna, who is their late daughter-in-law, so I was married to their son and I have their grandson. My character remarries and the man she remarries takes her and her child to live with their family in the middle of nowhere. Diane decides that she is going to try to find us because she doesn’t feel like I am with people who are safe. We shot it in Calgary, Canada; I had a lovely time shooting there with the beautiful landscapes and Canadian crews are the friendliest people.
You have starred with incredible talent, is it ever intimidating to step into a project and star next to someone who you admire?
Every time, I have to go to set, I take the morning and give myself the same pep talk which is: you would not be here if they didn’t trust that you could do it; you deserve to be here. Today, this very first day, if you present yourself 100% authentically and are present with people then you never have to worry. Because for the rest of this job, they will know exactly who you are and what you are bringing to this project. It never benefits me to go in feeling scared, small or less than any of them.
I love that you use your platform to raise awareness about issues that you are passionate about from trans rights, women’s rights to voting—all are tied into voting actually. There are so many things to be up in arms about, how do you take care of your mental health so you stay grounded and fight for what you believe in?
I once had a meeting once with my agency—they are so lovely and politically in-tuned—and they have a department that works on causes and connecting their clients with charitable causes and foundations. I had a meeting and they said, what are you interested in lending your platform to? And I said, how much time do we have? (laughs). They said you should figure out what your lane is, but I really struggled with it. I just became an ambassador for The Pad Project, which is this incredible organization that is trying to bring about menstrual justice and making sure that women have access to menstrual products all over the world. They just installed pad machines in India. They are even implementing programs for women to make sanitary products for their own communities. I have been trying to figure out ways to act locally, as well as globally, and be more responsible on the way that I walk through the world. Trans issues are so local for me because my brother is trans, so when I am speaking about that, I am speaking up for my brother. Most of the people I love are gay people and I want to dance at their wedding and I don’t want to take it lightly that there are Supreme Court justices who are threatening this right, after Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed. It all feels connected to me and it all feels personal to being a woman in this world and to be aware that I am a white woman in this world. I am responsible for the way I carry myself and that I don’t take up all of the room that should be granted to someone else. I find that I am mindful of that because I see how tiring it must be. I leave my Instagram account silent for weeks at a time and struggle with self-promotion in this moment. I can only be authentic and tell people what I believe in and that shouldn't’ be political that should just be part of who I am. It has to be.
Since you said, you are also a writer, where do you get the majority of your ideas and what is your writing process like?
I wish I was a daily writer—I read a book about daily rituals and it’s so important to find what works for you. I lost a huge part of my process, which is ease dropping, through this moment in time (laughs). It’s a big thing for me; I am a big people watcher and I don’t want to loose my anonymity in this profession because then I will loose my ability to people watch. The subway is a big one, I have taken out my notes app and written down verbatim conversations that have happened there. A big part of my process is outside inspiration, so I have been trying to get that as much as I can. I have been forcing myself to a sidewalk café so I can sit down and write. I am editing an adaptation right now that I am working on with a writing partner. I am also writing a screen play that I feel really passionately about—it’s about my parents and them meeting in Florida in the 90s. I have about 14 hours of interviews with them and people they know and in their own words. They speak about the period of time leading up to my birth, which is a huge gift.
can you share what’s next for you?
Before this, I was reading so many killer scripts everyday. It was an influx of awesome shows and films that I thought, I could get any one of these jobs and feel really excited about it and that’s not always how I feel when I am reading things constantly. Sometimes I am amazed that some things are being made for the amount of money that they are being made for. It’s always wild to me. Right now, those bigger productions seem to be coming back first, a lot of what I am looking for, which is more personal, writer director driven work, is not coming back as quickly as I would like it to. The financial investment for those films are generally a lot less—I just hope that al of those filmmakers who make that time of work starts to come back at the same frequency as some of these other things. So I am waiting; I am waiting to find the next right move because I am playing a long game; I am not trying to blow up in one year and then be gone in six. I would rather take my time and be working on quality not quantity. I think that is going to pay off; I feel like if I make that investment of time and I don’t just grab for the money, then the money will come, the offers will come. I just have to keep putting my head down and working hard. I will continue writing these things but I know that the time and the business has to be write in order for me to make this, so I am making this as brilliant as I can so when I am ready to show it to people, and asking them to please help me make it, that they are ready to co-sign on my ability not just as an actor but also as an artist. I really hope that will all pay off—I think it will.
