Making Music With Haywood

Leah self-styled and was photographed in Los Angeles by Cibelle Levi; Hair by David Stanwell; Makeup by Adam Breuchaud; Interview by Alison Engstrom

Hi Leah it’s Great to meet you! I’D love to learn more about your backGround. Flashing back to when you were younger growing up in New Zealand, what did you dream about becoming when you were a kid?

My first ambition was to be an ambulance driver (laughs), I loved all of the gory stuff when I was a kid but that quickly changed when my mom started me in piano lessons when I was five. I cried; I was so upset she put me in lessons with my siblings. Eventually I decided to push through it because with learning an instrument, there are so many times you want to throw in the towel, but I learned very early on this was what I wanted to do. I started singing when I was about 13 and I started playing in the church band but I didn’t feel like I was quite as skilled as my sisters. But being the youngest and the determined sibling I was, I set out on a mission (laughs). I literally practiced my ass off until I was good—it was a healthy competition. I was relentless in my pursuit of becoming a good singer. I practiced singing to all of the greats like Whitney (Houston) and Mariah (Carey); I knew from the age of 13 that this was it. 

That was my next question, was there a singer whO had a profound impact on you?

Definitely Mariah and Whitney, I mean I can’t sing like those girls but I got a lot of my inflection from them. Another influential person was the lead singer of the Brand New Heavies, N’dea Davenport. I loved the way she would begin and finish words. 

You’ve had such an incredible career from singing, songwriting and producing. But I love talking about moments that are pivotal and open the floodgates for you. What was that moment for you?

It was when I signed with Sony in Australia. I just finished school and I had this whole plan of things happening consecutively, which was my ideal scenario and the funny thing was it actually played out just like that. I ended up supporting a comedian who wanted to bring song into her show. I was singing backup vocals and on the last night, her voice was so horse I took over all of her vocal parts. This variety show was flying in to see how she rolled and to see if they wanted to get her on the show. In the process they said to me, we loved what you did up there and they asked what I was doing. I told them I had just recorded a demo CD and I asked if I could send it to them. Two weeks later, they got a hold of me and said they loved the record and they were going to fly me out to sing on the show, which is basically the same as SNL in Australia. Letting someone who only did a demo CD and having them sing a cover on the show was crazy (laughs). It had never happened before and I don’t think it ever happened again after that (laughs). While I was singing on the show, the biggest producer in Australia, who was working with all of the pop artists, walked into his apartment, turned on the TV and it was half-way through my song. He called the station and said he wanted to meet that girl, so I ended up flying to meet him and two weeks later, he took me into Sony and I got signed. 

Wow, that’s like it was meant to be.

Yes, it was very manifesty, if you know what I mean?

Very much so, I am all about that. When would you say you became confident in yourself and your craft?

I feel like it’s another thing that goes with the territory of being the youngest kid. I never lacked confidence; I always had a very clear understanding of what I wanted to do and have always had the confidence to know I could do it. Also, I am not afraid to fail, if I get out there and mess up, whatever, life goes on. It’s easy to be a perfectionist but I am getting a lot easier on myself the more I do life. It has always been intrinsic and a part of me so it was never a question. I was always very bold when I would walk into rooms. I started working with the best people in the business right off the bat because I knew I had my own thing to bring into the situation.

It’s all about energy too, you attract what you are. More and more fields are becoming more diverse especially when it comes to balancing between men and women. What progress has you seen over the years and what else do you think needs to change and evolve? 

It’s been slowly changing in music, but there haven’t been any drastic changes. I think women are starting to realize they can do this, the thing is you cannot learn it overnight, producing is something you get better and better at with practice. Men have naturally been the ones to take charge, which isn’t a bad thing, someone has to do it, but I think now women are staring to realize okay, I can do the same thing, I can run a session. It can be an intimidating role to step into because at the end of the day if I am sitting with a couple of top liners who write melody and lyrics, they are relying on me to create something they can sing to. You are basically spearheading the session. I think we are seeing women learn music programs, instruments and become way more self-sufficient because we live in a day and age where you have to be. You can’t rely on other people; there is equal opportunity for everyone if you do learn it and you get good at it. I think it’s created a huge incentive for women and there are some incredible women coming up.

This might be a rudimentary question but how does one get into the producing and songwriter role? 

It all starts with the craft and getting really freaking good because the competition is wild. It can’t start with schmoozing or networking, it has to start with the talent and the skill. If you nail that then you are going to be fine; I think that’s the thing to focus on. Even I love to listen to other producers productions and analyze it, everyone does that and I feel like just listening and absorbing everything and always trying to better yourself. I’m still not where I want to be. I know I am totally capable and I want to push myself.

What would be your ultimate dream where you say, this is it?

I don’t think you ever get to the point where you think this is it. There is a saying in the business that you are only as big as your last hit. When someone has a hit, they obviously want the next one because two years later that hits gone and someone else is number one. Names get forgotten very quickly. You have to find that happy medium in life where the work can’t make you happy—like this idea of if I get this, then I will be happy or satisfied—because you will truly never be satisfied. I think as humans, we have that insatiable desire of never enough, never enough. It’s kind of unhealthy.

I understand, the ego is a strong and powerful thing. What is your writing process, are you always hearing songs and music in your head? 

I am and I do write in my head. I am not a stream of consciousness writer, I like to collect ideas in my head then I’ll put them in my phone in a voice memo. I’m always aware and have songwriting in the back of my mind, even in conversations, sitting in a café, or observing. I can pick out song titles or lyrics and I store them for when I need them. 

Has covid hurt that at all?

It has obviously been a rough time for everybody but I tried to use it as well as I could. I was able to hull up in  the studio and just work on my project. It’s a one-man show, it’s just me, it all rides on me, so I had time to really mold and sit with things and maybe come back to them a couple of weeks later. When I got signed with Palm Tree Records in December, I almost had a full record of songs.  

Now to talk about your new single ‘Cheers to Us’, which you said you are opening up a new chapter with. What inspired you to move to center stage so to speak? 

Once you get the artist bug, I don’t think you ever lose it; you are always that person. I definitely put that to the side, I never had a conscious thought of, I am going to do a record one day. I was really happy writing and producing for other people. It’s a great life, when things are going well, it’s awesome. You feel financially secure, you are doing what you love, you are working with amazing people everyday.

What happened with my solo thing was I had a moment, almost like a personal awakening, where I remembered my career started with just me. My first demo was just me on the piano.  I had this moment when we were driving in Australia and I looked out the window and I had that feeling, in a second that it was time to do a record and it was just me. I produce, write and sing it on your own—it was almost a declaration of independence. My whole life has been built on collaboration, which is awesome, but I felt like it was time to prove it to myself. 

That’s great, I feel so often people want you to stay in your lane or pigeon-hole you. Does that mentality go back to your no fear of failure? 

I think so and I also have this bulldog mentality of, I am going to show them. I am not just a girl who is going to sit in the corner while you make your top line. I am a tomboy—I play the guitar and the piano—don’t underestimate me, don’t put me in a box of ‘all girls do this’.

Going back to ‘Cheers to Us’, it’s a super catchy song about a breakup but it makes you feel good Was that intentional? 

I think so because to be vulnerable is empowering. The song is very vulnerable, because it’s about good times, but it’s also empowering to look at a bad situation in a whole different way. I believe the way we get through things is the way we perceive them. It’s about leaving a relationship that was good but then got shitty, and leaving it without a bad taste in your mouth. Rather, we had some good times and there was some gold in there. It’s a positive versus a negative outlook, which will never serve us.

It’s like every experience, good or bad, can be a teacher. How long did it take you to write that song? 

I wrote it in about an hour. It was a quick one and the track came together quickly too. Most of the songs on my records have come as fully formed choruses like lyrics, melody and track in my head. When I had that moment that I needed to do this record, I started to write and I couldn't get the ideas out the way I wanted to get them out. I was being too cryptic or too cool; I was trying to be too poetic and I felt like a fraud, it wasn’t me. So I decided to put the pen down and thought, I am not going to labor over this and have it become a burden. I started writing and producing for other people as usual and then a few years later, I got this song New York, in a second; I got the full chorus, lyrics, melody and everything and I thought, this is my song. I was like a rapper freestyling, it was amazing. It was storytelling, conversational and no trying to be so clever just this is my story and everything fit together like a puzzle. Everything was just flowing. I showed it to some people and they said it sounded so inspired. A few weeks later I got another song Thinking of God, which again popped out of one idea. Almost every song on the record came out as a full-fledged idea. I realized that was how my record was supposed to be done. I wanted it to be an inspiring sound and the fact that it was in a fleeting moment and I didn’t sit and labor at the piano—I never made it a job. I think that comes across in the music; I have gone with my own style. 

Would you say that is being in the flow. Every artist, whether you are a photographer, writer, singer, or performer seeks to be in sync that way. 

Absolutely, it’s all about the flow. You can’t force that flow, it comes when it wants. A therapist once told me is to store up that inspiration. Sometimes I find my life to be a bit chaotic especially if you are at the mercy of it, so just have a little bit of order around it, you get the inspiration, save it for when you need it rather than throwing everything into chaos because you have this idea. 

Are you going to be releasing more new music? 

Yes, I am going to be releasing an acoustic version of Cheers to Us in another week and my next single is going to drop in about three weeks, which is awesome. It will be song every six weeks, we have the material and we are just going to keep pumping them out.

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Her second single ‘Backbeat’ drops June 11

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This interview was edited for clarity